


Lock away your weaknesses

by EdenMiasma



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Captivity, Cunnilingus, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Female Masturbation, Hurt/Comfort, Learning to feel things again, Male Masturbation, Manipulation, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Possessive Kylo Ren, Ren focused fic, Restraints, Voyeurism, emotional dependency, emotional wreck! ren, lowkey stalker Kylo Ren, wordy bullshit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-04
Updated: 2018-01-18
Packaged: 2019-02-28 04:53:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 19,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13264101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EdenMiasma/pseuds/EdenMiasma
Summary: Takes place during and following the battle against Snoke and his Red Guards.Kylo could not bare to lose this woman, not now, not after everything he has done for her. She stands, determined, and the two fight for control over the Lightsaber with all their might.She is strong, but so is He, and the Saber sings with vibration as the pressure forces the two further apart. 'I could lose everything'. Kylo’s mind panics 'I’ll be alone again, she cant lose to me! she has no choice!'He was quick, she never saw it coming, when Ren’s focus of the saber is transferred to a particular section of the brain, a quick squeeze, barely a second passes before Rey is rendered unconscious...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hootie hoo!  
> I havent written a fanfiction in literally a year.  
> Whole new account, whole new fanfiction! Im glad to be here~  
> I hope this fic is well received and covers a lot of... kinda dark, kinda creepy, kinda manipulative subjects. But none that are outwardly disturbing. Trigger warnings will be posted for chapters that require them.

She approaches, breath harsh, hair now sweat matted and dripping like her brow that quivers when their stares clash. There was so much fire in those eyes, so much emotion, impassioned, and he felt a distinct burning in his chest from the sheer presence she radiated.

 

Kylo Ren stands. _Surely…_ He thinks. _Surely this is the moment we need._

 

A hand extends, clad in blood dampened leather, and Ren stares at Rey with sorrowful eyes.

 

“Join me”

 

“n-no, Ben, come with me”

 

“I know who your parents are”

 

Theres an obvious hitch in Rey’s breath, and eyes that glimmered with the hopes of something, anything, to be truer than the reality she’s hesitant to accept. Deep down she knows, deep down theres a resounding loneliness of hopeless years left waiting for persons that she’d tricked herself into believing would return one day.

 

“and you know too, you cant admit it” Ren is curt, anxious even. “They were but filthy junk traders who sold you off for drinking money. They’re dead in an unmarked grave in the Jakku desert.” The words tumble from his mouth with no need for a filter

 

“You have no place in this story” _You do in mine ”_ You come from nothing. You are nothing. But not to me. join me. Please”

 

Theres no tremble in his voice, its stern, firm, and arrogantly sure of himself. _She has no choice._ “Join me and we can rule the galaxy together!” _She has no choice! I killed for her!_

 

Rey is slow in her movements, hand slowly rising with a tremor as if it was struggling between her desire to take his hand and fear of what he will do. But Ren’s heart swelled with hope the closer those shaking digits got to his own.

 

Within a split second, a momentary drop of his defences, he had been betrayed. The lightsaber, once owned by his pitiful Jedi Master, is plucked from his hand effortlessly with the force. Ren catches it mid air and stares daggers to the woman before him, the two with arms outstretched and hearts burning with regret.

 

She is strong, but so is He, and the Saber sings with vibration as the pressure forces the two further apart. _I could lose everything._ Kylo’s mind panics _I’ll be alone again, she cant lose to me! she has no choice!_

 

He was quick, she never saw it coming, when Ren’s focus of the saber is transferred to a particular section of the brain, a quick squeeze, barely a second passes before Rey is rendered unconscious, and the built up tension of the lightsaber tug-o-war launches the weapon outward against the wall and bursts to pieces in a bright display.

 

Rey slumps against the polished and slightly bloody tiles, arm still out stretched and brow still knitted in focus, albeit slightly calmer.

 

There’s a swarm of panicked thoughts that spiraled out of control in Ren’s mind, _Now what? I murdered Snoke for her. I’ve ruined everything. She hates me. What will happen when she wakes up? Where is mother? I can’t let her leave, can’t let her leave me alone again._

 

_Our leader is gone. I am all that’s left, I am the most powerful man of the First Order._

 

_I will take command_

 

As his decision is made Ren paces forward, neck craning to stare down on the unconscious girl. Shes just as light as the first time he carried her, he reminisces as he collects her into his arms. There is a noticeable wound on her forehead, probably obtained when she collapsed and hit the ground as Ren now notices the scattered pieces of rubble and broken red armour metal.

 

He will see to it that she’s patched up, but his eyes follow a single trail of blood that ever so slowly drips down past her temple and stirs a hunger in the pit of his gut.

 

The sound of whirring air gears alerted Kylo to the doors that split to reveal General Hux, the man walking in with an air of authority but underlying subjugation prepared for speaking with the Supreme Leader. The mans eyes lock onto Ren’s battle torn figure and the woman draped and bloodied in his arms, then behind him to limp bisected body of their once “All powerful and indestructible _(yet so very deconstructable)_ Snoke”.

 

Hux’s eyes widened in horror and darted between the two, Ren, Snoke, Ren, Snoke, he was desperately trying to rationalise and piece together a feasible reason why their Leader was currently in _two pieces_ and Ren was still alltogether.

 

“Wh...what-”

 

Before he can even speak Kylo Ren interrupts him “Supreme Leader Snoke is no more, but so is the Future of the Jedi”

 

Theres a twitch in Hux’s eye.

 

“You _Killed_ Our leader!”

 

“It was the girl” He accentuated his word by slightly shrugging the body in his arms “but she is under my control now. Snoke is gone, but we have something more powerful at our disposal”

 

Hux’s face clearly shows his disbelief, his denial of Rens half lie-half truth. But what can he do now? Outright refuse to serve the First Order under direction of Ren? Thats just begging for abuse from your superior.

 

Biting his tongue, Hux speaks again.

 

“Would you like for me to have an interrogation room prepared for the girl?”

 

“Yes. Have someone gather the force sensitive shackles and bring them in as well. She escaped last time”

 

“Didnt you say you had her ‘under control’?”

 

“You doubt my ability?”

 

Hux once again held his tongue. The two men staring a minute too long with unmasked hate on their features.

 

“...I will have the room prepared”

 

Theres a visible sneer to his words before Hux all but stormed out if the decemated throne room with a thousand more questions left to be unanswered.

 

* * *

 

Rey slips in and out of consciousness for hours, every moment her eyes open they feel heavier than the last, and all she can really see are blurs and brief shapes that disappear from her line of sight too quickly.

 

But she can hear, sort of, theres only one person she knows whos voice vibrates at such a depth, whos sheer presence filled the air with a crushing dread. In her waking moments she knew Kylo Ren was always somewhere near, instructing, commanding, or lingering so close beside her she swears she felt his breath on her ears.

 

It isnt till much later that Rey finally comes back to herself with a drowsy numbness in the back of her head. The last time she felt anything of this kind was the first and hopefully last time she had indulged in alcohol, with a settling sickness in the pit of her stomach.

 

The first thing she notices from her surroundings is Kylo Ren, hunched over on an uncomfortable seat with his head in his hands, breath slow as if he were asleep or just on the cusp of it. Rey put herself on a high alert, a quick survey of everything around her told her she was likely in another of the First Orders standard ‘interrogation’ rooms. Strapped to the semi-vertical device once again.

 

No matter what she knew she had to get out and run _right now_.

 

But, the very second she began to fiddle with her wrist locks via the force, she suddenly received a painful shock that bloomed from her neck out down her back and arms. Rey gasped at the sensation, followed by a short cry that grabbed the attention of the man sitting before her.

 

His head raised quickly, tired eyes meeting hers in a look of both shock and relief. He was visibly exhausted, eyes with heavy bags, bruising evident on his lips and fresh split skin across his features. He obviously hadnt gone to a medic bay since the fight against the Red Guards.

 

“You are awake” Ren states.

 

Rey questions immediately “What have you done to me!?”

 

Theres a small twitch to Ren’s face, a pull of the lip and quirk in his eye, that shows she obviously drags emotion from him. “Not much at all really. You are just… restricted now” The man in black stands, and within three precise steps he is right in front of her. He raises his hands, surprisingly ungloved, and brings her attention to the metal piece around her neck, though she cant see it, she feels his fingers trace where her skin meets the strange device.

 

“A technology as ancient as the force itself, If this collar senses you using the force it will administer a controlled shock on these two sides” The fingers pause, just lightly brushing the arteries that run up and down the sides of her throat. Shes almost offended by how calmly he is explaining her current situation, her captivity, while he near sensually strokes her flesh.

 

“So what? Im collared like a misbehaved dog?”

 

Ren huffed “No, more like an unpredictable one”

 

It was a necessary precaution, if he wanted to speak sensibly with Rey, to discuss his plans, her surrender and acclimation to the dark side, she needed to be suppressed. Its not that he wanted to harm her, if anything its far from it, but he couldnt risk letting her _leave him_ again.

 

The way her presence made him feel, the way she _understood_ him, how she looked at him with something other than fear or hatred. She filled in the void he’d been desperate to close for so long.

 

Fate wont let her escape.

 

“I told you I wont join the First Order, Ben” Rey tries to argue. “You will have a better life with the resistance! Please think this through”

 

Ren just shakes his head, eyes only darting away from her face for a brief moment as if he was fabricating something in his mind to say.

 

He responds “you don’t need to join us then”

 

Rey shows clear confusion and sends him a cautious look while her hands idly fiddle with the sides of the interrogation table. She believes hes up to something, scheming, she was so used to seeing into his psyche and feeling what he feels, but now its as if shes looking at him past a thick wall of glass.

 

Ren continues. “However, I wont allow for you to rejoin the resistance. When they are defeated it will be _easier_ to have you already with me than to find you amongst the corpses”

 

_Easier on my soul. Easier to take down the rebels._

_With you I am complete, with you I can become god._

 

The woman begins to panic, he _knows_ because he can _feel_ her heartbeat tremor against the air around them. Shes glaring, teeth bared “Dont you hurt them!” she all but snarls and goes to move her hand towards him, clanging her wrist against the metal shackles. Ren retracts himself from her body with a swift step.

 

Instantly she stills and calls out a short yell. There is obvious tension in her neck as she throws her head back, arms tightening and hands curling into weak fists till the light shocks subsided. Her memory doesnt seem to last long, either that or she believes in the Light just a bit too much.

 

Rey comes down from the shocks, panting and a light trail of a single tear on her face. It must be painful, so much that Ren feels a twinge of regret. His expression softens and hands rise to her neck and face once again, one thumb soothing the point of contact of the collar while the other wipes beneath her teary eye.

 

“Ben-” _She wont stop using that name…_ “- please think this through”

 

He sighs, and presses his lips to her forehead which is damp with sweat. He tastes salt on his tongue, her hair smells like the forests, dirt, and the chemical sterility of a well cleaned ship, all in one. And her _warmth._ It feels as if his skin burns wherever he touches her.

 

“You will be taken care of, I promise. But you must trust me, you must obey me”

 

Rey’s breathing stutters. _Is it fear? Sadness? Excitement?_ “Ben-”

 

“I will be good to you”

 

“Ben listen!”

 

“Please.. Just trust in me”

 

Before Rey can utter another plea her world cuts to black and her body goes limp against the structure. Ren retracts his hand from the digital panel beside the ‘table’, which had initiated an injection into the girls system.

 

He steps back, looking over her body as if admiring his handiwork, the sweat on her brow, the hands that somehow remain clenched, the way her hair sticks out at odd angles and falls loose from the multiple ties. Disheveled. Stressed.

 

Ren can only hope she has calmed down when she re-awakens in 24 hours time.

 

For now, he can finally rest, spending the last day just sitting, waiting, forging conversations, possible scenarios, in his head over and over. He still had so many things he planned to say left unsaid, so many questions, _are you alright? Do you hurt? Let me hold you. How is mother._

 

He stands before the large doors, they slide, and before him are two armed guards and a simple crewman.

 

“Have her assigned to a monitored room, lock the doors, When she wakes up alert me immediately” Kylo Ren commands, the three nod with a resounding ‘yes sir!’ before they split to perform their tasks.

 

_She will accept me in due time. She will love me._


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not a summary but yo  
> what if a force bond just suddenly drops in the middle of some awkward crap. like whops force bond time, theres Kylo Ren with his dic out taking a leak call back later when things arent so weird.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk if anyone knows but im an Australian and i spent a lot of my time writing this while melting into a pile of goop. its 40°C which is about 104°F and its just super unpleasant right now. 
> 
> i am dying.

There were many small holes, cuts, divots, bruises, a myriad of wounds ranging from large to small that were almost haphazardly dropped onto Kylo Ren’s body. It was a patchwork for the medic bots to work on, unstitching what was giving way and forging stronger threads between the muscle. A somewhat painful experience, tiny needles piercing the skin over and over, knitting together flesh till barely a scar is visible.

 

It was necessary, every new patch is a tougher piece of his body. The next blade will have to work just a little harder to pierce him, though the brunt of his received blows go to his protective clothing.

 

The intercom beside him beeps thrice, a message from the Storm Trooper commander, Phasma.

 

“Put her through” Ren speaks and the device complies. An audio link is established and the deep and powerful voice of his Captain rings through. “Greetings, Supreme Leader Kylo” the woman begins.

 

It takes Ren a moment to process this. _Oh yes… I murdered snoke, ascended to the throne._ He had almost forgotten he has a new title, It won’t take long for him to become familiar with the new position of power however, in fact the very notion excites him.

 

_Supreme Leader._

 

“And to you too, Captain Phasma” his tone is even and held an air of authority. _I like how that sounds._

 

“We have some Intel on the whereabouts of the Resistance, the two who were handed over by that slimy con artist were quick to tell us everything after some heavy punishment” She states “the information is confirmed by the tracking beacon found in the girls possessions, As told, the Rebels have escaped to the planet Crait”

 

 _Good news it seems_ “Is there any movement of their forces?” Ren asks

 

“None, they appear to be backed into a corner”

 

_Interesting… Do i snuff them out now? Mother is there, in the palm of my hand, waiting to be crushed like an insect with her weakened family of ants._

 

“No weapons? No ships? nothing?”

 

“Nothing new enough to take us down or outmaneuver us, sir”

 

Kylo Ren could almost laugh. He was right, Having Rey here with him gave him an advantage somehow, like a good luck charm. “Continue to monitor them, If anyone attempts to leave the planet don’t hesitate to shoot them down. They will be taken care of in due time”  He decides.

 

“As you wish”

 

The line is cut with a short beep and the room is filled with the sound of mechanics whirring in the background. He moves to sit up as the machines patch over a wound from his shoulder that slides down his back, arms rest on his knees and hands become a perch for his chin.

 

_What to do then? Do I capture mother? Destroy their forces? Leave them there to starve and die out pitifully? What tricks could they pull?_

 

Ren grunts aloud when a needle pierces particularly deep and strikes his shoulder blade and the pain fades as quickly as it spiked. It was grounding for him. The Dark Side lives through pain, through suffering and anguish, It finds strength with every slit of skin and cry of agony, even the deepest pierce to his being will one day bring him more power. He reminds himself of this every time he enters this room.

 

There's a feeling in the back of his eyes, a throb that resounds through his skull and travels further even outside his body. It is familiar, and the material walls between him and his _perfect match_ are bridged. He can see her, and she can sense his presence, He knows because he can feel everything she does.

 

Kylo feels the stiffness in her limbs as she slowly raises her head, and the minor headache in her temples. She initially looks around, surveying her surroundings that he can not quite see but knows as a standard holding cell, _Albeit more comfortable for something so precious._ Then Rey’s head snaps toward him, and his head rises from its rest against his knuckles.

 

“Where have you put me?” The young woman asks.

 

“You are in a secure room”

 

“Secure?”

 

“Locked, No way in for guards, no way out for you. Safe”

 

Rey sits up and glares at him, Eyes darted down his frame for a brief moment and he can _feel_ her scrutiny as she takes in his shirtless form, as well as the matted collection of scar tissue. She sits up and watches his gaze flicker as well down her form, and then completely away.

 

The brief image of herself sitting nude amongst crisp white sheets flashed through her mind, again and again like a flickering light bulb. Rey lifted the sheets to cover herself.

 

Ren can hear her voice whispering around their void _“dont look at me, dont look at me, dont look at me”_ but her posture only conveyed irritance and hostility.

 

The image passes them both again.

 

“Stop that!” Rey insists and refuses to make eye contact with him.

 

“My apologies, I was caught off guard just as much as you were to your state of dress”

 

Now she just stubbornly shuts herself off from him, though the bridge of their Force bond does not drop. The two simply sit before eachother, eyes strayed to the corners of the room with the figure of their opposite at the far corner of their sight. _Shyness_.

 

Ren stands from the medic device and paces forward, looking down at her, and Rey pushes herself back against the headboard of the bed in an attempt to make distance between them. He is menacing, through that is not his intention, and his figure stands at the foot of Rey’s bed with an air of authority.

 

“I will be coming to your holding cell in ten minutes” Ren tells her,

 

“For what?”

 

He claims it is for “Interrogation”, though his mind is nowhere close. In reality he doesn't know what exactly hes going to talk to her about, or try to get her to say. But he wants to be near. He can probably fabricate some false intel if anyone asks him, and false questions to ask Rey.

 

* * *

  


Rey’s vision blurs for a split second before her world reformed itself around her, no longer fuzzy at the edges and incomplete, she can clearly acknowledge her surroundings. Most importantly she can see her clothing folded on a table on the opposite corner of the room, as well as an adjoining door beside it and a large mirror.

 

With a spare glance in the direction Ren once stood she confirmed he was no longer there, no longer consuming her with his eyes, she deemed it safe to stand up. She all but dragged the remaining bedsheets with her across the spotless tiled floor to cover herself before quickly throwing on her top garment.

 

It felt as if eyes were on her constantly, who knows who could be monitoring cameras placed in every crevice of the room. It was unnerving. Her underwear seems to have been replaced by more modern clothing articles, though the panties stayed a similar function and shape. She couldn't make heads or tails of what has replaced her breastband though, and after an attempt or two of putting it on she decided it can stay where it was on the table.

 

Her leggings were as normal, but the pockets emptied, and no belts of pouches and holsters anywhere, but her arm wraps stayed, both left coiled in perfect spools of similar sizes. She picked up the two and carried them back to the bed, the only real seat in the hollow room, and began on her left arm. She winds them slightly loose, the room is already warm as it is, but there's no sun to shield her arms from, just the blinding artificial light of the ship.

 

Rey finishes quick and lazily, tying off the ends against her biceps and giving a few flexes to assure its a good fit, she caught her reflection of doing so and couldnt help but to notice her ‘collar’.

 

It was unlike any collar she’d seen before thats for sure, more like something she’d see adorning the neck of a wealthy noblewoman, even a queen. It was some kind of shining metal, not quite gold but not quite bronze, with swirling tendrils of design that looped and laced between itself like tree roots. In the middle were two shining stones, one in the shape of a teardrop and above it, a simple circle, but they radiated something something shes familiar with, a feeling that thrummed beneath her fingertips when sparkling blades crossed.

 

They were Kyber crystals. The very Force sensitive stones used in lightsabers. If anything these crystals were the heart and detection piece of her entire collar.

 

She hated how gorgeous it was, and moreso how painful the stabbing, tingling pain it gave her, something unlike the few short shocks she received when touching an active wire when scavenging. This was deeper, like it set fire beneath her skin.

 

She needed to get this device off. _But how._ She stands and approaches her mirror to look closer, there are no visible places where the collar could have even latched together, no seams or bends in the metal at all. It was infuriating.

 

All of the sudden the metal doors thud, the sound of decompressing air follows, and eventually the doors part to present Kylo Ren himself, standing ever so tall, maskless, but an expression that still instills the air of mystery around him.

 

He doesnt hesitate to stare her down, but something sparks in his eyes that makes things just a bit more… comfortable?

 

“I see you are admiring your new neckware” he states as he walks closer, she doesnt flinch or move away because she knows by how he carries himself he doesnt want to hurt her. Its as close to friendly as he can manage.

 

He stands beside Rey, hands grip her shoulders and turn her around to stare face to face with herself in her reflection once more. She cant help but to notice how Ren’s face is clearly visible above hers just from sheer height. The dark man runs his palms against her biceps, material easily slipping under his leather gloves but his heat permeates through them.

 

“It is made of a rare metal, once used exclusively by high priestesses of the Jedi’s precursor religion” as he speaks his hands find their way around her body and trace the outline of the collar “The Kyber crystals branch out beneath the metal, the two talk with eachother, your use of the force agitates them and the metal responds in kind”

 

Rey remarks “its too beautiful to be a tool of torture and captivity”

 

There is a chuckle, Ren’s eyes crease just the slightest bit as a breathless laugh escapes him. “They were tools for training. In those times some people exerted more of the Force than they could control, these suppressed it”

 

She stands stiff when the fingers are no longer focusing on the collar around her neck but the very flesh of her neck itself. Soothing in a slow back and forward motion just below her jawbone. There were two light red marks from the previous two shocks that branched up her arteries and spread out like vines. Like lightning.

 

He hopes they fade.

 

Rey leans back in his arms, feeling Kylo’s solid chest brace her. He looks down at her, a question in his eyes but left unspoken as he brings his hands further down, caressing the peaks of her collarbones and the dip and rise of her chest till hes met with the resistance of her tunic.

 

Gloved fingers rest at the beginning of her breast and he can feel the shakiness of her breathing, the hammering heartbeat that resounds so strongly through her person. He wants to dig his fingers beneath that flesh and embrace the warmth in her chest, to feel what it’s like to hold her core that overflows with life and love and light.

 

“What are you thinking about?” Rey asks, the words sounding so much further away than they really were.

 

“Your heart” _and how to make it mine_

 

“I’d prefer if you left it inside me”

 

_I wouldnt have it any other way my dear._

 

Rey shrugs him off, its not discomfort, but she doesn’t want his hands on her. It felt too close, too intimate, and the sensations that thrummed beneath her skin were confusing as it dangerously teetered between sensual and terrifying.

 

She eyed Kylo as she slipped beyond his desperate grasp that childishly reached for her when she got too far away. She made distance between the two, and they circled one another with an evenly matched pace.

 

“This isnt the interrogation, is it?” shes right, but then again, he never really intended to interrogate anyway. “Youre trying a new method to get information out of me now then?”

 

“I already know everything I need to know”

 

“Then why come here to me?”

 

“Why else would you think id be with you?” his response sends chills down her spine with the way they _dripped_ with underlying emotion.

 

 _Because I’m alone._ He thinks _Because I crave your softness. I’m cold, and you are so warm. You make me feel normal, whole, like the light still burns somewhere in this empty deathlike heart of mine._

 

But all he could really muster, all that shivered against his lips in reverence of his deepest thoughts was a near whispered “Because I need you, Rey” that stopped the girl in her tracks. She shakes her head, _nonsense_ , but she knows its mostly true. Theres some level of dependency to Ben, he needs a drive, a target, something to keep his focus on while he continues to destroy the galaxy.

 

And with Snoke gone his focus is entirely on Rey.

 

He was so quick to take her from nothing, and turn her into everything.

 

She spoke against him “If you needed me you would have joined me and the rebellion!” She wants to be scathing, she is scared. “Need and Want are two vastly different things Ben, the dark side will only encourage selfishness”

 

“Then I want you” Ren responds with a ‘matter-of-fact’ tone before continuing to speak again “The light and the Dark are always at extreme ends. You are left desperately needing on one, and desperately wanting on the other, which would you consider more painful though?”

 

“Wh- thats ridiculous! Where’d you even learn such a stupid-”

 

Ren’s voice rises above hers “The Light proclaims itself an eden of serenity, happiness, commitment, it claims it holds every good thing in its arms! Where does that serenity tip to ignorance? Happiness to contempt? Where do your Jedi and the Sith meet? It is, in entirety, a moral conception, Rey.”

 

She feels like shes being chastised, like a child who needs to be taught right from wrong. _You need a teacher_. But every word that comes from Kylo makes so much sense as well as none.

 

“Who gets to decide I chose the dark side because I am a bad person? I chose because I have passions, I have ambition!” The very way his voice thundered instilled fear in Rey, He was getting himself worked up, passionate even, like he’d been rehearsing this very conversation for years. _But for who?_

 

Rey bites back “I’ve never said you are!”

 

“No, You called me a monster, those same lips that still dare call my birth name in the hopes i’ll turn to the light, you know of your own hypocrisy, even you can see the lines are blurred”

 

“You killed Han Solo, your own father! You tried to kill me and my friends and your own mother! Kylo Ren is a monster! And Ben Solo is just another victim of his” Rey spat her accusation with venom, Her fists clench and she dares to take a step towards Ren. Shes burning, shes mad, she can tell this is just a method of manipulation hes trying to use to _convert her_. Rey refuses to let this take her.

 

“Ben solo was only ever a victim to Luke Skywalker!” Kylo can feel the pressure within his body rising, his teeth clench till they ache, hands balling into fists and releasing over and over to try and exert some of whats building up inside him.

 

“If he truly was then no one would be suffering by your hand to this day!”

 

“Are you saying I should have died on that night?!”

 

“Stop twisting my words!”

 

“Then stop fucking speaking!”

 

She can see how furious he is, his lips curl and bare his teeth, eyes squinting, and a twitch in the lower left lid. Ren turns on the spot and _howls_ as he plunges his fist into the closest wall panel, the metal screams as it bends against the impact. He repeats himself, once, twice, thrice, sparks fly and bounce off the floor around him when the electrical boards behind the metal begin to buckle.

 

Kylo brings his fist back once more, his knuckles sore but eager, and swings one last time. But there is no contact. His hand slows for a brief moment, just enough to halt him in place, and for the shortest second he can almost see Rey’s small delicate hand bracing his shaking fingers.

 

On the opposite corner of the room she is buckled over, one arm outstretched towards him while the other claws at the metal device around her neck. She whines like a wounded pup, crying, and he can see by the shaking of her digits that she is pained.

 

“Rey!” His anger is shortlived and in a short bound he is by her side, tearing his gloves from his hands to rest his fingers against her pulse points. The skin beneath his fingers flutters but stops quickly as the remnants of Force electricity dissipate and the coolness of his skin soothes the raw wound.

 

She sits up but quickly falls back into his arms, her face is red and sweaty, and eyes glassed over with tears. _Why did you do that!? You should never hurt for me! Things shouldnt be like this, im sorry, im so sorry, my love forgive me, im sorry._ Kylo’s anxious hands move to cradle the woman till her breathing settles and dizziness leaves her features.

 

Kylo brings his face to Rey’s, resting his forehead right against hers and looking deep into her eyes. “Why did you do that?” Kylo asks, voice soft as to not disturb her too much. The sheer force of his mood swings were more of a headspin than the neausiating aftermath of the collar.

 

“You… I didnt want you to hurt yourself” _she sounds so weak, this is all my fault! I hurt her! Oh gods I hurt her._

 

“Please, Rey, never do this again” _never ever ever ever ev.._ “I beg of you”

 

Theres something in her eyes, something mischievous, friendly, that contrasts the sporadic heartbeats in his chest, she says with a smile “stop giving me a reason to then, dummy” before her eyes softly flutter closed again.

 

The stress on her body must have knocked her out, but she looks peaceful as her breathing evens itself out, and the childish smirk plays on her lips for just a few moments more. He chases it, as if he could consume the dying warmth of her kind act before it vanishes again, and presses his lips a little too eagerly against Reys.

 

 _She will be okay, she_ ~~_loves_~~ _likes me, i think, she will be okay for me. She will come back to me._

 

As the man withdraws from her body his breathing leaves with his whole body tremors. He’s not used to this much emotion, any more than raw anger, and the trembling carries through his arms as he lifts his girl onto the mattress and rests her head on the soft pillows.

 

_I can never lose control again, I cant let her hurt._

 

Whether he liked it or not, denial and all, the gears of fate finally shed their crust and began to turn anew within him. He is willing to change, albeit slowly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rey learned how to 'catch these hands' in a new way yo.  
> anyway. NSFW planned for the next chapter :3 sorry if things get confusing rn idk what the hell im doing lol
> 
> by the way heres something i whipped up for Rey's 'collar' https://imgur.com/a/oLkSz


	3. chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> :3 heres that nsfw content i promised tho its kinda poorly done by my virgin hands

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have another AU i plan to write soon that involves Rey having a lot of sand in her pockets.
> 
> The skywalker weakness.

 

Anxiety isnt something Ren had experienced too frequently. Sadness? often, Anger? Always. But nearly never the swelling pit of dread that made him catch his breath every time his communicators beep. He barely knows what hes anticipating, perhaps a message that Rey has escaped, or even a direct attack from the Resistance that somehow takes down his ship.

 

He is emotionally overloaded.

 

At the very least he is allowed to rest now, spending the past seven hours pacing, ordering, biting his tongue when the snide voice of Hux chimes in beside him and having to suppress the uncontrollable urge to throw him into the closest wall. The pent up stress making him just that slight bit more aggitable that had his crew tense.

 

Now he simply sits in his chambers, lights dimmed to aid his tired eyes as he skims through the piles of papers on his desk. Battle plans, negotiations, treaties, lists of the names of the dead, the casualties of the enemies and the necessary condolences sent to those whos families were still alive and still cared.

 

Gods, he was so bored.

 

His intercom alerts him to a connected call from the main security department, He allows it through. “Greetings, Supreme Leader” the man on the other end begins. “As to your orders, we are bringing your attention to your… captive. She has been moving about the room for the past five minutes”

 

Kylo affirms hes listening with a short grunt. The man continues “a serval droid will be bringing her a meal and change of clothes within the hour. Is there anything else you require for her?”

 

“... patch me through the camera feed, our talk ended a bit unsavory, i should make sure shes okay”

 

“Of course, sir.” He can almost hear an underlying snicker to the mans voice. _You think my intentions are impure?_

 

When the audio line cut off and he was sure the call had ended itself he swore under his breath with a roll to his eyes. Theres got to be a limit to how immature some of his crew can be, do they even test them anymore? He made a mental note to have whoever passed through the call to be quietly demoted or ejected from the ship. _A bit petty of me though._

 

The closest digital screen panel to his desk lights up and all but blinds Kylo, he has to shield his eyes, and squints at the screen till his vision adjusts to the new light. He feels no irritance however, just the eager thudding of his heart, excited to see his girl again even after such a short period of time.

 

He can see her sitting on the floor, back resting against the wall just beside the adjoining door to her provided bathroom. Shes missing an arm wrap, its resting against her throat, somewhat soaked from what he can see. She must be tending to the burnt flesh of her neck, trying to soothe it with cold water.

 

The camera quality just isnt quite good enough for him, he cant see he small details he feels fondness towards. The speckling of faint freckles on her cheeks, the flutter of her dark eyelashes, the _fire_ in her eyes when she looks up at him. He can only imagine it.

 

He can only imagine how she’d sigh or moan when the cold fabric touches the raw skin, and the arch of her neck when she craves the sensation on more area. He’d imagined how she would press too eagerly into it, wringing droplets of water out to drip down her front and disappear into the crevice of her breasts.

 

In the cameras view she moves the damp wrap to the other side of her neck and he can see how the water has transferred into her clothing as well, leaving the grey fabric just a shade or two darker.

 

She doesnt seem to care much though.

 

Kylo watches her continuously, idly drifting his eyes between the papers and her screen, lazy signatures are left on the pages that barely match his own that will fly under the radar because, really, _who even checked them_.

 

There was a bit more movement than usual that caught his attention again, Rey stands and steps closer to the door, a face of curiosity with a slight tilt to her head as her hands pull away the cloth to hide it behind herself.

 

_Does she think it is me? Why hide it? Is she worried id feel guilty? Shes so kind hearted to a monster like me._

 

He self affirms his assumption when he sees her face fall slightly, Rather than the entire door opening there is a smaller door, the height of a BB unit, that slides open and allows in the compact service droid.

 

Rey speaks to it, lips moving quickly with words he cant hear, and the droid moves to the table in the room. It opens its top compartment and extends its ‘arms’ to place a tray on the surface. Inside the second compartment it presents a perfectly folded set of clothing that it carries to the next available surface in the room, the end corner of the bed.

 

From what Kylo can see, shes been given some simple garments, ink black and dark greys as standard for members of the First Order. She eyes them strangely but keeps her distance as the droid leaves, but as soon as the small door closes she all but throws herself towards the table.

 

Kylo is taken aback. He’d never seen a woman, let alone anyone, attack a tray of food with the same energy as she does ever in his life. Shes like a starved beast, he cant suppress the chuckle that escapes him when he watches.

 

Its adorable, endearing, at least shes enjoying herself _to a degree_ in her captivity.

 

He decides to finalise his work. Leaving everything thats been signed dropped into a service droid to be taken out to be sorted and filed. He may as well rest, his wrist was starting to ache, but he knows he will not sleep, not while knowing she is awake.

 

He remains seated at his desk and simply watches, sure, its strange to be so _enamoured_ , and watching her so closely may even be considered unsavory, but it feels somehow right to him, like hes allowed to, like fate will forgive him for being selfish.

 

Arms fold on the table and upon them he rests his head. _Im not tired._ Hes lying to himself. _I want to see her, rest can wait. Just a bit more._

 

Soon the light of the monitor blurs before his eyes and hes plunged into the dark abyss of sleep.

 

* * *

 

 

Dreams are strange when your life is smothered by the dark side. More often than not you see nothing at all, just you in the void, floating with the sensation of falling continuously. A sensation that makes the back of your mind swim with nausea.

 

Other times are stranger. Not quite nightmares, but not quite peacful dreams. Always somewhere in the middle in an uncomfortable fantastical recollection of life events, of possible futures, or your deepest fantasies _no matter how twisted._

 

But now Kylo dreams of Rey. Ever since he encountered the woman shes plagued his subconsious in a wonderful way.

 

His skin is kissed by the cool snowy air and he swears he has been here before, yes, Starkiller base. He knows he is searching, determined, breath hot behind the cover of his mask. _It is a memory then._ Kylo _knows_ just who he is looking for and the target is so easy to spot, golden sun kissed skin and brown robes stood stark against the bleak white snow and dead black pines.

 

“Rey” he calls out to her. She looks spooked, like a deer in headlights, but a corner of her lip turns and confuses him. _A memory?._ She ignites the lightsaber in her hand and it glows blue, in turn Ren does the same and the crackling sound echoes around them.

 

Rey swings first, but his block is perfect, over and over, his swings are more defense and hers offense. _This isnt how things went_. She kicks him in the chest and his back collides with a tree, he barely felt it before pushing off and throwing his first actual attack. The beams of light cross and spark and the shine is brilliant in her eyes.

 

There is a distant sound of laughter, not coming from himself directly but he _knows_ it is his own. Its like hes watching a movie play out from behind his own eyes. He is thrown off with a precise movement of rey’s hand and a weak force push causes him to stumble on the slick snowy ground. She is grinning, not like a proud victor but like a child having fun.

 

 _This is a fantasy_.

 

Rey advances, their blades cross again, and again, and again, for the longest time it seemed the woman has him under her thumb the whole time, but it isnt until  Ren is on top of her and shes struggling to hold the red hot saber away from her neck that she finally admits defeat.   
  
“I give up! Stop stop stop!” her voice chimes.

 

Their sabers fade away, almost synchronised, and the two are left panting, staring into eachothers eyes. Rey’s nose is red from cold, and cheeks flush from exertion, and he knows he is the same.

 

“You said you’d go easy on me” she complains

 

“I did”

 

“‘Go easy’ means ‘let me win’”

 

There she goes again, laughing, giggling almost, like a giddy lovestruck fool, and he adores how well it suits her. She reaches up and places her hands on either side of his helmet, pulling his head down to bridge the short gap between them. Their foreheads touch and she sighs.

 

“I can’t even see your eyes through your helmet. Take that silly thing off”

 

He is glad to oblige, the seals decompress and its lifted off with ease with the aid of her eager hands. She tosses the helmet out of his reach before he has the chance to take it back and he feels the delicate touches of her fingers tracing over his cheeks.

 

She has a fondness for his moles, hes sure shes ran her finger over each and every one of them before she starts to tug his hair to bring his face closer to hers. He feels the warmth of her breath against his lips, the smile that reaches her eyes taunts him, _daring_ him to make the next move, and so he does.

 

He kisses her with fever, a taste so sweet and indescribable invades his mouth till hes breathing it, hes smothered by the pure existence that is Rey. He wants her to fill his lungs, to invade his body, to see her deep brown eyes when he closes his, or to hear her mirthful whispers in his ears when a room stood just too quiet.

 

There are words he wants to say, so many words, but he cant form them into anything coherent. _How do i convey to you what you are to me. You are everything. I could bring together every last star in the sky and they’d never shine as brightly as you. With you I can do anything. Be mine. Be mine. Be mine._

 

“I love you” Rey whispers against him.

 

The words echoed, they grew louder and louder in his ears. It felt so sincere _but its just a dream,_ he has to remind himself. A beautiful lie of a dream. The realisation made his world freeze, the snow stopped falling, his skin stopped feeling, he heard nothing. The edges began to fade back into the empty blackness.

 

“Rey, I love you too” he says desperately as he feels his dream draw to a close.

 

* * *

 

“ _Rey, I love you too”_  

 

Rey was in the midst of unwinding her arm wrap when she swore she heard the echoes of Kylo’s voice. It was like when they’d talk through the Force Bond, the strong tugging feeling that pulls at her chest and mind till a false material image appears before her.

 

“Ben?” she calls out cautiously, looking around the room. Behind her she hears a gasp and her head spins so fast she near wrings her own neck, She watches Ren lift himself up with the aid of a solid surface beneath his hands. A desk maybe, or a table, she can only make out a very faint shape.

 

He is panting, and his ungloved hands rake through his hair and down his face carrying droplets of sweat. He begins to pace, she can tell he hasnt noticed their Force Bond has initiated because hes muttering to himself in a tone that sounds almost sad but equally frustrated. _...so warm, so soft… lips… again..again._ She can only pick up small bits and pieces. She calls him again.

 

“Ben!”

 

The volume of Rey’s voice makes him jump. He double takes and furrows his brows in a stern stubborn frown. “We bonded?” he asks, Rey nods.

 

“What did you see?” he sounds almost scared, hes nervous.

 

“N-nothing! I caught you just as you woke up”   _not entirely._ She lied obviously. Not ready yet to confront him as to why she’d heard his fading words, what they meant, but she was surely curious as to what happened to lead up to such words. She followed through “did you have a nightmare?”

 

“No, it was nothing.”

 

“It wasn’t nothing, youre a mess”

 

“I… dreamed of when we were on the Starkiller” _not entirely a lie_ “how we fought”   
  
“Did you die?” There was a little _too much_ curiosity to her voice when she asks this, and her head tilts slightly to the right.

 

Ren responds with a snicker “You’d think so, but no. If i remember correctly you kicked my ass and left me in the snow to die”

 

Her expression soured slightly, and her lips pulled in an expression he can only assign the word ‘yikes’ to. “Well… If its any consolation im happy you _didnt_ die” she says, it was even a little awkward. He wanted to laugh. “I am happy I didnt either”

 

Kylo paces forward and takes a seat on her bed beside her, which he is so greatful has seemed to align with his own in his chambers _else id make a fool of myself in front of her._ At least his mood has calmed, no longer was the tense tightness in his chest there, the desire to linger in his dreams and indulge in a compliant, and madly in love Rey.

 

With a playfully flirtatious tone Rey asks him “Do you dream of me often?”

 

“... more often than you would think”

 

He leans back against his palms and releases a breath, letting his head lazily hang against his shoulder. “Sometimes we fight, sometimes you kill me, or i kill you. Ive dreamed of you joining me in my reign. Or of me teaching you the ways of the dark side” his lids look heavy.

 

Rey surveys his posture, hes comfortable, its obvious. The way he breathes deep and slow, his generously spread legs, and the way his fingers drum against the sheets below him slowly.

 

Then she looked back to his eyes, that stare at her in hunger. “I have dreamed we were friends, even lovers on the odd occasion” _Lovers, like, in love. I’ve made love to you countless times in my dreams._

 

Rey blushes, _that explains what i heard earlier_ , as Kylo continues to stare at her. Hes waiting for something, theres a question somewhere deep in those dark pools of his eyes, and she feels the light skim of his hand run up her thigh and leaving electric tingles along her clothed skin.

 

_Do you dream of me too? Have you seen me in your dreams? Where have I touched you? Where have I kissed you? Do you still feel the fire i set in your core so long ago?_

 

_Yes_

 

As she takes a stuttering breath she feels the bond shake. “Ben” she whispers “come to me” but before the words find his ears the bond drops. She is left on her own in the cool room with the lingering sensation of Ren’s fingers edging so very close to the apex of her thighs.

 

She felt all to warm, frustrated even, just moving her legs alone sparked beneath her skin when she recognised a particular sensation inside her. _How did he manage to do this to me?_ Rey reaches out and places places her hand against the sheets he once lay on, theres no lingering warmth, no indentation on the sheet, as if he was never actually there.

 

_Because he wasnt really here, was he._

 

“Ben” she repeats herself into the open air, “ben please”.

 

* * *

 

Kylo fades out of the Bond with his name whispered to his ears. He wipes at his eyes as if he’d been asleep, because admittedly he somewhat had been, and he remembers the soft feeling of Rey’s clothed thigh beneath his fingers.

 

He stands again. _The camera feed,_ He reminds himself.

 

In a brisk few paces hes back at his desk, the screen still alight, and there she lay on her bed. Just as he’d left her. Though now she lays directly on top of where he once rested, hand smoothing over the fabric in gentle circle movements. _She misses me already._ While another hand is slipped beneath her tunic to do quite the same to her side.

 

 _I aroused her_.

 

Shes _stroking_ herself, caressing her flesh as she’d imagine his hands would. He _knows this_ , He can feel the residual warmth of her body through the force as she slowly heats up. Its a fire that was quickly diminishing its kindling and setting her ablaze.

 

Kylo watches her, the hand beneath her shirt moves the fabric up her sides and back, exposing more skin to the air around her, and he marvels at the sheer sight while she all but tears the garment from her person.

 

He’d hate to come off as inexperienced or prudish, because somehow this portrays a weakness to him, but he cant hold back the low moan on his escaping breath when he lays eyes on her naked form once again. The last force bond didnt give him quite enough time to enjoy her figure, but now in the clear neon light he _sees it all_ and shes _beautiful._

 

Her sharp collarbones, muscled biceps, the palm sized swells of her breasts and delicate peaked nipples that she rolls between her thumb and forefinger with familiar roughness, her head lolls back onto the mattress and neck arches with swanlike grace. Mouth agape in a soundless moan he desperately wants to hear.

 

Rey’s other hand travels down her torso, past her lightly muscled abdomen that he can just imagine twitching in anticipation as her fingers dip down beyond the waistband of her pants. Her body seizes briefly before he can see her begin moving her hips in time with the hand movements he can only barely see past the monitor.

 

Kylo’s mouth feels dry and hes painfully straining in his uniform pants. He’d rarely felt such a strong arousal in his life and the way his whole body felt singes of pleasure just from watching the girl was a new experience altogether.

 

He palms himself with a shaky hand while the other makes work to shed some of the many heavy layers he wears. Overcoat, undercoat, tunic, it only made sense to wear so much during battle. But now he just finds it irritating and suppressing. He _needs_ this release. He _needs_ to come with her.

 

In the camera feed he can see shes slowly had shucked her pants and underwear mid thigh, he can see _so so much_ but just _not enough_. He wants to be there, he wants to watch her, to hear the sounds, smell the air of her heady arousal, things his body had never known but craves so desperately.

 

He finally gets the layers open at the very least and rests back against his desk chair, the cool air on his chest gives only so much comfort, and he moves to unbuckle his belt and expose himself finally.

 

Theres no hesitation to Ren as he grasps himself and shivers when a pleasant sensation washes over him. He works himself over in lazy and haphazard strokes, matching to the discoordinated thrusting of Rey’s hips. He loves the sight, and from the generous angle he can finally see where her fingers disappear inside her for brief moments before returning to trace hard circles around her clit.  Shes _so rough with herself_. It excites him.

 

“Rey” he breathes under a moan when his grip on himself tightens just that bit more, precum dripping onto his fingers and slickening his movements. Its almost too much, but hes determined to keep himself level till he knows shes at her limit too.

 

He can feel it in the air, like electricity, numbing his fingertips as they squeezed at the base of his cock and urged out a few more droplets of transparent fluid. Kylo bites his lip deeply and the small prickle of pain only encourages him, pumping with more fever and gently rocking his hips in a steady pace.

 

The air is hot but its tinged with the building release hes chasing, he can _sense,_ through the twisted works of metal walls, that Rey is nearing her climax. Just watching the way she grinded against her own fingers, head thrown back in complete ecstasy, her lips moved between heavy pants, just one syllable but its _his_.

 

“ _Ben!”_

 

“Rey!”

 

He couldnt hold quite long enough, just knowing she was doing this with him in mind, fantasising about him, doing this _for him_ , tipped him over the edge. He comes with a guttural growl thats forced out from clenched teeth, eyes flickering closed for just a single moment before returning to the screen while the aftershocks control his body.

 

Thick ropes of cum spatter against his lower abdomen and roll slowly down the twitching crevices of muscle, He milks himself dry waiting for her to come, he still feels her buildup in the wavelengths but its so damn close.

 

“ _Rey”_ he encourages her from such a distance “come for me”

 

He watches as her eyes snap open and her body shudders, hips rising off the mattress and toes curling into the sheets. Sweet moans left unheard by him, so many holding his name that he desperately wanted to hear, but this was sufficient enough for now.

 

Kylo felt exhausted, Rey was well spent, the two simply leant back and panted away the heat till there was something left in them to move. He needed to shower and take a _well deserved_ sleep, and she needed to change. Only it took Ren till Rey had stood on shakey legs to head to her restroom for him to finally go to his own as well.

 

_Her knees are weak, it must have felt so good._

 

Kylo is eager to get some rest, but moreso to go back to that pleasant dreamscape and explore just how far he can bring his fantasies to reality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NYEHEHEH anyway that was strange for me to write. Havent done NSFW for over a year till today. Gotta say it left me feeling a lil weird and not in a (> u >) kinda weird but a "what has my life come to" kinda weird.
> 
> Keep being beautiful readers <3


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Has anyone seen Devilman Crybaby? i binge watched it all today and had an existential crisis. lol  
> ANYWAY HERES THIS.

One of the things Kylo absolutely  _ detested _ was being woken up prematurely by the shaking of his ship, specifically if caused by Rebel forces trying to get the drop on them. The lights in his chambers blare red, followed by another shaking thud.

 

_ Gods damn this pointless war. _

 

He is greeted by the intercom, an urgent but incredibly insincere call from General Hux. He tiredly swung his legs over the edge of the bed and hunched over with elbows on his knees as the man started to speak.

 

“The rebel hostages onboard have somehow breached containment” He starts, and Kylo’s head darts up to look towards his desk. The light of the screen was off, no camera feed visible. “Is-”

 

Hux interrupts him before the words even come out “No, your  _ girl _ isnt with them. It was the rogue Trooper and his little friend. The two are unaware of your little pet in her cage”  _ Dont you call her that!  _

 

“What sector have they escaped to?” Ren asks.

 

“Gate 16G’s docking bay”

 

Ren groaned tiredly and grinded the palms of his hands into his eyesockets as if it’d relieve some of the ache that was already starting to grow in him. “They were in the holding cells at least four levels away from that gate! How did they get so far before you alerted me!” 

 

“FN-2187 knows his way around the ship and a blaster, apparently so does his accomplice”

 

“Shut down all surrounding areas to the Gate and snuff them out, dont let them escape, dont even capture them. That Storm Trooper has become a real thorn in my side and I want him gone”

 

“We are already ahead of you on that” Ren grits his teeth . _ you snide bastard. Whats the point in contacting me now when you apparently have everything under control? _

 

“Then hurry up and have your  _ oh so capable _ soldiers take care of them instead of contacting me in the midst of it. I dont want to hear from you until theyre dead”

 

He might not be able to see Hux, but he know the man all too well, he knows he must have that awful glower of his pulling at his lips, a man ugly to the soul. “Of course,  _ Supreme Leader _ .” his words carry such venom “we will keep you updated”

 

_ I swear, I’d have that man killed if he wasn't so talented at commanding my military. _

 

Kylo drags his hands down the length of his face in exhaustion, feeling the collected sheen of sweat and oils that built up over the prior few hours. He needed to shower. As he stood and faced towards the bathroom he recognised a secondary issue of the mornings, however theres only  _ so much _ he can handle of himself before he begins to feel guilt. He begins to feel  _ impure. _

 

He needed a cold shower then.

 

* * *

 

Theres only so much you can do in an empty room with barely anything in it. Rey has taken to making shapes out of her arm wraps on the black tiled floors, like drawing with ribbons, shes become quite skilled at a particular ‘blob’ that she feels looks similar to an X-wing. 

 

Earlier she had showered and dressed after the high of her orgasm had drifted away and she couldnt feel the lingering, ominous presence of Kylo in the air. Admittedly, she had never come so hard in her life till now, never with other partners, never by herself, there was something that made her wind up just that bit tighter for the snap of her release to hit her at full force. She kind of liked it.

 

But the following hours after that were incredibly bland.

 

She’d paced the entire length of the room, pressed her hands to every panel to see if there were secret compartments, tried to sleep, tried to meditate, the hours ticked by like years. At least back on Jakku she could scavenge, or dismantle, or rebuild, or  _ ANYTHING _ . She might end up asking the service droid for some paper and ink or a datapad to occupy her.

 

Rey is shaken suddenly by the light rocking of the ship, which is something that  _ isnt supposed to happen _ normally to a vessel of this spectacular size. Somewhere deep in the void of the Force she felt a small disturbance, not much, but of far off figures fighting for their lives, she could barely make out who they were but one residual signature, like an aura or  _ something _ gave it away.

 

Finn was on board the ship. 

_ Which means theres a chance I can escape! _

 

She just had to figure out some way to get past the door, and the potential guards outside, without using the force… or a lightsaber… or anything really. Even her cutlery was taken from her by the droid when it returned to take care of her leftover tray and clothing, she had  _ nothing.  _ The very thought of a breakout died in her mind so she sadly sat on her bed, watching the door, and waiting. 

 

“Please Finn, Im here! Save me”

 

* * *

col

Not but half an hour passed till there was a sound at her door, not your average beeping of an entered code or the hiss of the decompressing door pistons, but loud bangs like guards falling onto the ground followed by fast light footsteps.

 

The door is suddenly all but ripped open with the force of an explosion, the same force that threw rey backwards against the wall beside her bed. There were chunks of thick metal and exposed wire, sparks and smoke, but no one entered the room following it. The young jedi stumbled back to her feet and tried to call to her friend.

 

“Finn? Finn its me, its rey!”

 

Still no response. But a dangerous presence could be felt instead.

 

_ This isnt Finn. Its not Kylo either. _

 

She barely saw anything coming when sudden blaster fire was coming through the entrance, fired from a single weapon. Rey still couldnt see who it was, couldnt sense it,  _ the damn collar was suppressing her _ , so she took evasive action and crouched as close to the side of the bed as possible for cover. 

 

There were a few more shots, haphazard but angry and determined, before it quieted down and the smoke cleared to show a single man, blaster in hand, and fiery orange hair. She couldnt put a name to the face at all but could tell by the crest on his uniform that hes somewhere higher than your average pilot given how decorative he is.

 

“Who are you!? What do you want?!” she demands from her post, fingers now reaching for a piece of door shrapnel that had a slightly sharper point to it than the rest. If this was an enemy she would at least want to die putting up a fight, force or no force.

 

The man looks towards her and his eyes crease to slivers as he glares with such hatred. “You,  _ Girl”  _ He seethes, the gun rises towards her and fires again, just barely missing her shoulder and leaving a deep melted hole in the wall, her fingers scrambled to reach the metal and clutched it tight. “Do you have  _ any  _ idea how much trouble you and your  _ FILTHY _ little rat friends have caused for our fleet? For our Fighters? For my Supreme Leader?” 

 

He is trembling and she can feel his rage permeating his body, unlike Kylo he keeps his anger bottled, ready to pour in a steady concentrated stream rather than the destructive explosion shes so used to.

 

Shes fired upon again and ducks alongside the bed, a few more shots set the sheets ablaze slowly. He wanted her dead, seeming to focus all the blame of the Rebellion on her. 

 

“Youre sabotaging us arent you? You whore! How easy was it to fuck that man child to get what you want!”

 

_ Is he talking about Ben? Wait, whore? Who does he think I am? _

 

Rey’s reflexes were good enough to use the barely sufficient metal piece to deflect a near direct shot to her head. The man was approaching her, menacing, she desperately hoped someone or something could help her, hell even her collar suddenly shutting itself down, but now was a bad time to test for it.

 

“Everything fell apart because of you! I was going to be the next Supreme Leader! But that brat,  _ That fucking brat is now!  _ And I watched  _ everything _ , it was mutiny! Murder! how long had you two been planning on usurping that throne!”

 

He followed by a cough, smoke inhalation, he might be becoming visually impaired as the cramped room filled with ashy black cloud. Just a little longer and Rey might just have a window to free herself.

 

“I’ll kill you” she feels his resolve trembling in the air “I’ll kill you and present your pretty little corpse to your  _ insufferable  _ lover, and then i’ll kill him, and take my rightful place as Supreme Leader of the First Order!”

 

WIth that now said he fires numerous rounds, no conscious attempt to keep it straight or properly aimed, he was angry and he just wanted to destroy. At least they were all in her direction, he can give himself a pat on the back for that. 

 

She made good use of the incoming barrage as cover for herself, the flashes and sparks paired with smoke should be enough for her to get around him and to safety. She dashes by him, making use of the sharpest edge of the metal to swipe at the back of his legs to bring him to his knees. If hes distracted by pain even for a moment it will make her getaway just a bit easier. The metal sinks in easily, one slice going through the back of his calf entirely, while the second only manages to slice the skin lightly and get caught in the remaining cloth of his pants.

 

Regardless, he was incapacitated for a brief moment. Toppling over himself while rey gets up and runs out the broken door. She can hear him swearing viciously, pounding gloved fists onto the ground and yelling in frustration. But she was safe. 

 

_ She was free. _

 

* * *

 

Kylo Ren was  _ pissed.  _

 

No, pissed is too light, angry is nowhere near, he was Furious. He was  _ Livid.  _ If his rage could embody itself it would be an explosion so massive it’d create a star out of this war ship. The camera feed was dead, Hux, nowhere to be found, A hole blown out of the side of the ship around Gate 16 and 17G, No sign of the rebels and a now missing tie fighter, and no explanation as to how things went so  _ terribly  _ in the space of  _ half a fucking hour _ !

 

_ All they had to do was locate and kill two Rebel captives! Just two!!  _ Someone was going to die today. He was going to make sure of it. 

 

He stalked with purpose, angry, heavy footsteps that thundered down the halls he walked, lightsaber already in hand and ready to be ignited at any given moment. But first his more important task, he needed to see if Rey was okay, and more importantly, that she was still  _ here on the ship with him. _

 

However his rage overboiled when he rounded the corner, there was a sizable hole blown out of the door.  _ A rescue attempt? _ Within there was nothing but a small pool of blood and multiple blaster marks on the walls, and the charred orange cynders of what was once her bed. 

 

She has escaped with wounds then, it should be easy to track her down.

 

The blood didnt go far, much to his disappointment, and worse yet the source was none other than General Hux. The first pitiful thing to come into view for him to take his anger out on. A simple force push had the man knocked onto his side on the ground, a following one thew him against the sharp metal panels of a blaster-warped wall. 

 

“What happened here, Hux?” Ren asks through clenched teeth. 

 

“The girl’s comrades came to break her out-”

 

“Her  _ comrades _ were over at the gates 500 meters from here!  _ I will ask you again, What happened?! _ ”

 

Kylo didnt wait for the man to respond, he held him up against the wall again, large hand already encompassing Hux’s neck in a tight grip while the other holds close to his skull. If he was going to strangle this man to death he wanted to  _ feel it _ . 

 

He used the force, dark and lurking, digging deep inside his veins that spread around him and shoved a thousand sharp tendrils into the brain and mind of his General, he was probing for any memory, any flickers that were left unchecked by the meticulous man, any hint as to where his precious woman has gone.

 

He sees something, he almost sees everything, the memory compounds itself and flashes before his eyes in a matter of seconds and he sees it all. 

 

_ You tried to kill her.  _

 

There is a flash of her retreating back as the wounded man chased her down the hall, a blaster shot hit her in the arm, she then fled to the left, continued and then right. Thats how far Hux managed to stalk her till the pain in his leg caused him to give up. 

 

_ You tried to kill her and chased her down these halls… _

 

Fear is ever present in Hux now, he knows he fucked up, he knows hes in trouble but somewhere he knows somehow Ren wont kill him. However he will brutalise him. 

 

Like he’d expected, Kylo’s eyes twitched with the now certain knowledge, and Hux is filled with dread. The recognisable heavy breathing, the bared teeth, the flickers of his left eyelid. Ren roared, guttural and vicious, as he pulled the man back and forced his head against the wall as hard as he could, five times he did it, till he could see a small patch of blood from where the mans ear is… or was. 

 

When his grip came loose the body fell onto the ground but Hux simply lay there gasping, head rolling and eyes flickering towards the lights around him. He was probably a bit brain damaged at this point, but he didnt care, he needed more. 

 

“You are pathetic, General” Ren hisses “you seek out an unarmed woman, break into her chambers, and struggle to kill even her”

 

He picks up one of the mans limp arms that lay weakly to his sides, still attached, but  _ not for long _ . His lightsaber ignites in his hand and he feels a sense of justice within himself.  _ This is the hand that held his blaster, he is not ambidextrous, a fitting punishment for a lowly worm like him.  _

 

The saber goes through with ease, severing the limb at the elbow joint with a smooth swipe and cauterizing the separate pieces on impact. The scent of burning flesh was almost welcoming, but he had things to do, he had to find Rey. So the arm is discarded on the floor beside the General, kicked to his side, and left with the screaming and weeping man. 

 

* * *

 

Rey knows he is close, shes huddled herself up in a small space, one that can easily be missed so she can sneak off once the man has passed by. She has no weapons, and if anything, she feels  _ scared.  _

 

Shes never been quite so vulnerable and her blaster wound was throbbing painfully. In the back of her mind she honestly wished she could have stayed on Jakku all those months back. She wanted to be safe again, she wanted  _ home _ . 

 

“Rey!” a voice called out down the echoed halls, accompanies by sure loud footsteps. She knew that pace. She knew that voice, and the instinctual feeling she got was comfort and relief. 

 

_ He is equally as dangerous Rey _ she tells herself  _ He was trying to kill you too once upon a time. _

 

But his words echoed in her head from the night before.

 

_ I love you too… _

 

No. hes not here to hurt her.

 

She slipped out of her space, wincing in pain as the metal grates caught on the singed flesh of her wound but nevertheless continued towards the reverberating sound of Ben’s feet that carried on into her chest.

 

Rey peeks her head around the corner of her opening and sees nothing, the twisting metal of the confusing hallways made it hard for her to locate just what direction Kylo would approach from, so she chose to stand, wait, and  _ will  _ for him to find her sooner. 

 

And sooner he did, Rounding a corner with his fury nearly ripping the panels from the walls around him, he was so focused, so  _ ready _ for something. But when his eyes locked onto hers his expression quickly changed.

 

Relief, concern, and dare she say the ghost of a smile. 

 

_ Shes here! Shes still here for me! _

 

“Ben!” Rey shouts and begins running towards him, the distance is short, but every second it took for her to fall into his arms felt like a beautiful eternity watching her hair bounce around her angelic face and eyes light up in joy. She pretty much threw herself at him, a force that staggered him momentarily but was easily gained back when she wrapped her legs around his waist and clinged around his neck.

 

“He was trying to kill me” she whined, Ren’s hand found her thighs and held her up while the other crossed her back, pressing her as tightly to himself as he could. He breathed her in, embraced her with his everything, for the first time he feels what its like to have her body so close to his. 

 

In the spur of the moment he turns them, Rey’s back being slammed against the wall that left her breathless on impact, and quickly closed the distance between their panting mouths. He kissed her deeply, savoring every small part of her he could. To him she tasted like honey, painfully saccharine but addicting, she is warm and soft her cute little tongue darts out to swipe at his lower lip and he swears the force is blessing him. 

 

He becomes more eager, too eager even, and bites her, teeth sinking just a bit too far into her lip but the gasp she cries isnt one of pain but of pleasure. Kylo’s tongue invades her mouth, lapping at the warm iron liquid and the feeling of her own timid muscle within. 

 

She is simply intoxicating. He cant get enough, now that hes had a taste he doesnt ever want to be seperated. He separates his mouth just a slight amount to begin trailing kisses across her cheek, jawbone, and begin for her neck before Rey interrupts him.

 

“Ben, I missed you too. Ben listen!” With that she gives a light slap to the back of his head that snapped him out of his lust haze “Where is the man? And my friends?”

 

“What man?”

 

“The one with the orange hair”

 

“Oh.. him. He has been taken care of. His Idiocy has lead to those  _ friends _ of yours destroying my ships and fleeing” 

 

Theres a look of relief on her face, but also of disappointment.  _ Thats right, you can not leave me.  _ Before she looks at him accusingly. “What do you mean ‘taken care of’? Did you kill him?”

 

“Sadly no. But if he approaches you again he will be”

 

Theres a furrow in her brow that doesnt quite say “dont do it” but also really doesnt encourage the opposite. She probably doesnt care if Hux was dead or alive, after all he did try to kill her. Nevertheless, The rebels were gone and he had Rey all to himself.

 

“What about my room? Its ruined” 

 

“You will stay with me in my chambers”

 

Rey’s eyes widen in shock. “Im sorry, what?”

 

“Having you at such a distance caused this to happen, if you are in my chambers you are less likely to be plucked from beneath me”

 

The very thought had her already on edge.  _ Sharing a room with Ben. sharing a bed with Ben. _

 

If anything, Kylo was excited at the concept. He lifts his communicator up to position. “Please have a service droid tend to my chambers and have a medic droid ready for when i return”, it responds with a quick succession of beeps and a robotic “rodger!” before dying off. 

 

Ren leans in and places another chaste kiss to Rey’s lips. 

 

_ The closer the better, my love.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> >;3c i plan to start the next chap with something a little saucy. and end it saucier honhonhonhon.
> 
> (also i encourage you to leave comments on anything you are interested in seeing or just wanna say hi or have any commentary you wanna give because <3 i LOOVE interacting! :D )


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here have a page of smut.

Rey had never encountered a medical droid before, or at least none that work quite so sufficiently as this one. The others would apply plasters, dress wounds, sterilise the area, but this was some whole new level she didnt know even existed. 

 

She sat on a desk chair in Ren’s chambers, shirt reluctantly removed and pressed to her chest to keep herself modest as a small hovering droid sprayed an anti-bacterial mist onto her fresh blaster wound on her left bicep, ever so close to her shoulder blade. She hissed at the pain, it stung, but that just means its working she guesses.

 

“Have you ever been tattooed?” Kylo asks from his perch at the corner of his bed. He is hunched over, knees spread with elbows resting against them, hands clasped before him and gnawing on the wethered fabric of his gloved thumb.

 

_ What a peculiar question.  _ “No I havent” she responds “have you?”

 

“Only once. This droid delivers a similar sensation once it begins its work” 

 

Rey tilts her head curiously, two questions already in her mind.  _ What does he have tattooed?  _ And  _ what do you mean when it begins? _ . Before she can even ask she feels it, a series of pricks that work quickly but are quite painful, moving at a speed that sends light vibrations against her arm. 

 

She nearly doubles over, but holds still and winces, releasing the odd gasp or whine when the pain builds up higher and higher.

 

“You are doing well, it will be over in a few minutes” Ren’s voice is steady and reassuring, it warmed her like his fiery gaze that never seemed to waver from her form. She watches how his eyes trail over her slender exposed shoulders, her throat, the trembling digits that hold the soft fabric against her petite breasts. Rey feels every hair on her body stand on end from this man as if she can sense every dirty detail he was thinking about her.

 

The droid worked diligently and was halfway finished when it struck an area that was particularly sensitive and caused Rey to cry out. She honestly hated it. She hates the stupid droid and its stupid little needles. She should have just patched herself up.

 

Kylo stands and closes in on her, kneels by her feet, and takes her head in his hands with such a delicate touch she couldnt believe it was his. He studied her face and the light trail of tears that she just couldnt hold back from the dull pain, he wiped them away with his thumbs and wanted nothing more than to kiss her.

 

She stares deeply into his eyes, they were speaking with merely gazes, filling eachother with sensations of comfort, familiarity,  _ love. _ Feelings that made the pain numb itself in the back of Reys mind. The dark knight leaned forward slightly, fingers sliding along her cheeks to cup her jaw as he places light kisses to her brow, over her dewy eyelids, freckled cheeks, and finally to lightly brush against her own lips. 

 

Rey shudders, he set her on fire, every light press of his full lips bloomed a subtle but pleasant heat on her skin, she felt her cheeks flush. This kiss is different to how he’d kissed her before in the hall, granted it was still passionate, but the underlying motive was to soothe her. Even to  _ savor _ her.

 

The woman whines into the kiss as their mouths are pressed together further, whether it was from the pain or her eagerness for his taste didnt matter to him, because it sounded divine and vibrated lightly on his tongue in such a wonderful way.

 

Everything about her made him want to melt into her, to completely surround her with himself, to become one with her, fill her to the brim and encompass that light of hers to be kept all to himself. He wanted to make her  _ his,  _ and only  _ his. _

 

Kylo pushes his tongue into her mouth and she gladly lets him in, humming at the feeling of his warm muscle gliding against her own, tracing her teeth,  _ tasting her _ , she could lose herself in the sensation. She barely noticed when the medic droid retreated from her and covered her newly patched wound with a plaster, but Kylo did, because he became much more aggressive once she was able to take him.

 

The man pushes her back against the chair, her eyelids flutter, and she reaches a hand out to grip at the front of Kylo’s shirt. He parts for a period, allowing them to breathe, Rey desperately chases him though with teeth playfully nipping at his upper lip. He hushes her with his thumb pressing in between her lips.

 

She tastes leather, its smooth and warm with a lightly fraying edge thats been worried from Ren’s own teeth, but she lets her tongue trace over the digit with eagerness to urge  _ something _ from Kylo. He lets out a shuddering sigh, eyes focused on her mouth to watch the small squirming muscle beneath his thumb.  _ God was he hard. _

 

He tries to retract his hand, fingers trembling and eager to explore her flesh, but she catches the fabric tightly between her teeth. He sees what shes doing, and allows his hand to slip through and expose itself to the light, his other glove follows that he takes off himself, and rey moans when his warm flesh comes to rest against her nape. 

 

A hand holds at her neck, thumb tracing the intricate swirls of her collar, while the other moves to trace up her calf to her knee where he pried her legs apart and forcefully fits himself between them.

Rey’s knees press against his sides, hes so close she can feel every lingering bit of warmth that radiated from his body and it makes her core tighten in excitement. He was  _ right here _ with her, he was eager to please her and more than happy to get on his knees before her.

 

“I can feel you” Kylo says, voice hushed and deep as lust clouds his lungs. “I can feel how wet you are without even using my fingers, youre  _ dripping,  _ You want me to fuck you, dont you?”. He was right, he was painfully right, and just hearing him talk so  _ filthily _ made her throb with want. 

 

He leans in, mouth hovering just beside her ear, and as he speaks the deep sultry vibrations of his voice shake her with sharp tingles that run down her spine. “You know, i watched you the other day…” he drops his voice near a whisper as hands begin to trace up her bare sides and skim against the cloth she holds loosely, fingertips bushing the underside of her breast.

 

“I could see  _ everything _ , how you played with your cute little tits...” Kylo accentuated his words by siding his whole open hand up to palm her breast, thumb flicking over the hardened nipple while Rey’s trembling fingers let go and reveal herself to him. His other hand travels downward, squeezing her hip before dipping down to run his eager fingers along her clothed sex “... and how you fucked your own cunt and called my name as you came”

 

He was  _ vulgar _ , but it was so exciting, she moaned softly when his fingers dragged along her with just enough pressure to tease her folds and clit lightly through the fabric of her pants. She needed them off, she needed him to do something,  _ anything _ to her. 

 

Kylo’s fingers hovered over where her entrance was, wet and throbbing with desire, he teased her rubbing circles against the cloth. She desperately wanted those fingers inside.

 

“Ben, please” she whines.

 

Almost as soon as the words left her she felt something, a spine tingling fullness that pressed into her and stretched out her walls but she knew it wasnt Kylo’s fingers, it was something else of his doing. He chuckled lightly against her ear. “Is this what you want?” in a near too snide question. 

 

It dawned on her that he was using the force. Worse yet, he was using the force to  _ pleasure her _ .

 

_ This is a highly inappropriate use of the force!  _ She thinks, but the thought is quickly diminished as the sensation inside her shifted, as if fingers had crooked within her and pressed against her most sensitive spot. Her spine arched and she cried out, this was so much different to what it felt like to do so by herself, it was enough to make her thighs shake.

 

Kylo began to trail kisses from her neck down her chest, sparing moments to suckle and bite at her nipples before dropping further, all the while the full thrusting sensation continued inside of Rey. He reached to her belly, taught with light straining muscles and a particularly cute navel, It was amazing to see this body up close, to taste it.

 

_ I need to taste more.  _

 

The fullness leaves rey and she whines, hips lightly thrusting desperately to regain the feeling. “Ben-” she begs him, their eyes meet and the intensity in his gaze leaves her breathless, they were the eyes of a predator, of a monster prepared to pounce on its frail prey and tear it to shreds. 

 

He lets her watch him as he trails wet kisses from one hip bone to the next and relished in the way she’d squirm in his hands. Its menacing, teasing, oh so very close to where she wants him and she wills him to continue. He is glad to do so. Those taunting eyes command her gaze,  _ watch me, Rey, watch me pleasure you,  _ as Kylo lowers further between her thighs.

 

She feels his hot breath against her clothed sex, he is  _ so close _ to her, shes desperate as she whines again and shifts her hips forward. The corner of his left eye creases, a smirk she cant see from his hidden mouth, before she feels the press of his lips against her. Rey moans, the pressure alone made her thighs quake and tense, she was so sensitive, so ready, she could feel Kylo’s tongue trace against the seem that soaked through from his drooling mouth.

 

Her own wetness seeped through with the encouraging ministrations and Ren damn near lost his mind, there was just enough to taste and it spread along his tongue like a burning liquor, intoxicating. He inhales deeply through his nose, her scent too, heady and thick with want, her whole body desired his touch,  _ begged him  _ for pleasure.

 

_ Shes all mine, so delicious, i can devour her whole. _

 

He hooks his thumbs in the fabric of her pants and tugs lightly, she takes the hint and raises her hips off the chair just enough for them to begin to slide down along with her soaked cotton panties. Kylo follows the trail of cloth, leaving bruising kiss marks along her inner thighs before the fabric is discarded beside them.

 

Rey felt she couldnt handle much more of this.

 

There was a sudden stillness to Kylo that had her starved, His dark eyes brimming with lust, breath heavy, a light dusting of blush across his cheeks and kiss-reddened lips. He knelt before her like a man in reverence of his lord, at the alter in prayer, staring up to his goddess, and he knew he was the offering to such divinity. 

 

A man who could call himself a god.

 

“I want to worship you”  He sighs, Rey  _ feels it, _ the tremble in his core as he speaks those very words. “I want to worship you, just as I want to make you mine” 

 

“Ben...” Rey doent know what to say back to him at this, she’d never had anyone say such things to her, never in these throes of heated passion. 

 

“I want to take you from this world, that no eyes will ever lay on you again but my own. I want to consume you, infect you with my darkness, I want you to depend on me because I can’t live without you”

 

It was some kind of  _ creepy _ backhanded confession. But it poured forth from him in such a tone, such a way, that rey dismissed it for another time, she was still throbbing, still desperate for release. She spread her thighs as far as she could muster and reaches out a tentative hand to thread into the tangled mess of Kylo’s hair. 

 

Her very touch makes him shudder. 

 

“Then give me everything, Ben” Rey commands, and he obliges without hesitation. He lifts her right leg to rest over his shoulder while the other hand replaces itself on her hip, the very first touch of his tongue to her wet folds made her dizzy and had Ren groaning into her heat. 

 

Her taste is intoxicating, she melted onto his tongue like bitter chocolate and sends a burning fire deep inside him. He was already quite hard in his pants, pressing up against the taught fabric and aching, dripping even. He couldnt hold back the deep moan in his throat that reverberated through to Rey’s shaking depths.

 

Kylo explored her with vervour, lightly dipping into her entrance, teasing it, before retreating to roll against her hardened clit. All the while his jedi goddess pants and sighs above him. Fingers curl into his locks and tug lightly, massaging his scalp, urging him onto herself with her sensation weakened arms.

 

The man unbuckles his belt, the eagerness making his hands too fidgety and takes a little more than one attempt to free his straining erection, but once out he quickly grips himself and begins to work himself over. Thumb rolling over the head and spreading his leaking precome over his cock.

 

The room was filled with obscenely wet sounds, breathy sighs, and deep groaning, while the low drone of starship flight quietly hummed in the distance. It was serene, so pleasant and so unexpectedly intimate that Rey felt it didnt belong to her. That this was a dream, or that she was simply seeing through the eyes of some better woman.

 

There was something that surrounded the two though, like the lapping of waves at a shore in gentle returning pushes, and the water was so warm she’d gladly bathe in it. It was the familiar feeling of the bond, though subtle, he was right here with her so there was no need for it, it was more like he was pushing through to touch her very soul.

 

“Rey” she hears Kylo sigh as he pauses for a breath, “let me in”

 

_ But how? _ She doesnt know, or understand, but as she wills it her edges blur and the vague spectre of Kylo embraces her in their mental void. They meld, melt, separate and reform, just two constructions of pure energy dancing with one another. 

 

Rey’s mind is filled with Kylo Ren, and Ben Solo, but somewhere between those names is the man between her thighs, allowing her to drunkenly undulate her hips against his face as he drags her into the abyss of pleasure.    
  
_ Youre so beautiful, so fucking beautiful.  _ Hes whispering to her through their bond  _ My everything. My nothing.  _ He laps at her clit in broad definite strokes that match the pace of his own hand, she feels his hardness, and in turn he can feel her wetness, the twining sensations was pushing them closer and closer to the edge.

 

“Oh, Ben” Rey moans out loud “im so close”

 

He grunts in response,  _ me too _ , as he brings his available hand to assist, thumb now rolling hard circles around her clit while he prodded her depths with his tongue. His Jedi throws her head back, her sounds get louder, breathless sighs like crying in desperation for her fast approaching release, every time she cries out Kylo feels his cock throb in his hand and tightens his grip just that bit more. 

 

Heels dig into his shoulder blades when her knees pitch, her whole body is tight, shaking, shes right at the precipice with him right behind her, it only takes another few quick flicks of her sensitive bundle of nerves before she comes with a drawn out moan. Shes pushing him so close, hips rolling and walls fluttering around his tongue, her whole body quaked violently and the energy she released had him reeling. 

 

He needs to follow her over that edge. His pace is desperate, tugging and twisting his wrist like an adolescent who just wanted it over with. He rests his head against Rey’s twitching thigh and stares up into her dewy eyes, he whispers her name over and over till he couldnt hold himself back. He comes with a grunt thats forced out between clenched teeth and spills himself over his fingers and the black tiled floors. 

 

They sit in the silence together with nothing but the sounds of panting in the air. Kylo feels Rey’s fingers, though still shaking from the strength of her orgasm, comb through his sweaty locks with such gentleness, he could almost fall asleep there with his head resting on her bare lap.

 

“Those things you said… what you told me” Rey begins, “how long have you been thinking that way about me?”

 

His eyelids flutter open to stare at her, dark eyes that could hold no light but looked so calm and loving that it confused her. “Since I met you, granted not quite to such a length, but i  _ wanted you _ for myself, that much i can confess”

 

Rey cant quite comprehend his feelings, she knows desire, she knows love, but she doesnt know the dark side like he does, a place where desire and love become warped and corrupted, where it loses the simplistic purity and becomes something almost  _ evil. _

 

“... does that mean you love me?” 

  
He hums in response. “Possibly”  _ I hope so. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone wants to talk Reylo at me on twitter my @ is @ViscousMutt <3  
> please ignore that im a furry i swear im pure


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahaaaa sorry i took so long to update i been busy. sorry if this chap is a little boring too. they get that way when i work on it over the space of days.

The two separate, though reluctantly, She with too tired legs and worn out body to carry herself, and he with the dull residing ache lifts her into his arms to deposit her onto the bed of his chambers. She looks perfect amongst the pitch black silk, contrasting with her golden sun-kissed skin and the delicate curves that hold it. 

 

She bundles into herself, curling like a kitten and nearly purring at the sheer comfort of his soft sheets with a drowsy smile on her face. He’d let her rest for now. He begins to remove the many layers of his clothing down to the bare minimum and exchanges his tunic for a standard issue grey cotton tank. 

 

He has work to do unfortunately, that work involves ensuring Hux is properly hospitalised away on a secondary fleet ship, he cant risk having such an unstable man behind him with a blaster poised at his back. 

 

The man will be kept however, much to Kylo’s distaste, because it would be obvious to The First Order that  _ something peculiar _ has happened to land Ren in such a state of power. He may be Supreme Leader now but he cant face the whole Order on his own if they happen to turn on him.

 

He will be sure to enstate his reign much darker, much more dominating, than Snoke ever tried. The grotesque man was all about subtlety, tugging at the strings from the shadows and watching things play out for his benefit, never truly  _ active _ amongst his armies.  _ He never showed them he was to be feared _ , and that is why when his curtains closed barely anyone batted an eye. 

 

Just another nobody.

 

He finalises a correspondence message to the accompanying medic station with his instructions, and proceeding that another that instructs the new military commander to stand in till Hux has recovered. 

 

Voda Malam, A well trained military officer, spending over 15 years in their forces and revered amongst comrades, a woman who matches the fierceness of Phasma but nowhere near the height. If things go well enough, and Hux stays  _ asleep _ , She may prove her worth and retain her title while Hux has to serve below her. 

 

Kylo smirks at this. He just  _ knows _ it would kill the man, to be lower than someone, and a woman no less. Hux was a man with an outstanding ego, but filled with hairline cracks that the right tap can make him shatter, Ren has just decided to bring in a hammer. 

 

More writing needs to be done, more signatures, the words begin to blur before his eyes and he reaches his tired hand to rub at them. The meek perception of time tells him he’s been working for the past three hours, and for that same time Rey has been quietly snoring on his bed.

 

Maybe a nap would do him good. 

 

He shuts off his monitors and closes in on his bed, rey has more than enjoyed the wide shape of this bed as shes practically starfished across its surface. But the docile smile on her soft cheeks is warming, he hopes he wont disturb her.

 

Ren disrobes as quietly as he could and neatly moves everything they’d shed into the hamper unit, desiring a clean livingspace was always in the back of his mind. Then he slowly, quietly lowers himself onto the bed beside the sleeping woman. 

 

At first hes not sure how to fit in, Rey had taken up the majority of his bed and the thought of pushing her to the side to make room was just seen as cruel to him. He didnt know if she’d be allowing for him to touch her, or even to share the space with him, but it was  _ his bed _ . 

 

A hesitant hand reached out and lightly stroked her outstretched thigh, she sighed in content amongst her unconscious and he believed that was an ‘ok’ to whatever he was thinking. 

 

He wanted contact, comfort, the warmth of her flesh against his own, something he’d only dreamed about accompanying him to sleep. Kylo moves in close till their faces are side by side, her mouth hung open in a small snore that sounded like a baby boar-wolf,  _ adorable,  _ he manages to find a comfortable way to lay his head against Rey’s collarbone, hand splayed against her side, and a leg hanging off the edge of the bed.

 

 _But it was comfortable_ _nonetheless._

 

He let himself sleep.

 

* * *

 

Rey wakes before Ren does. Eyes lazily opening to the dimmed light of the Supreme Leaders bedchambers, she finds the man closely pressed to her with arms limply wrapped around her midsection, head resting against her breast and his legs tangled with her own. 

 

She doesnt remember falling asleep like this, she’s sure of it, but it definitely felt…  _ nice? _ . She brings her hand up to gently nestle into Kylo’s tangled mess of hair, which was now sufficiently more curled and honestly  _ everywhere _ currently, but still just as soft as it was earlier.

 

It was strange, the very man who had chased her through the stars, hell bent on destroying her life and  _ family, _ who was responsible for the deaths of thousands of people, was nestled in her arms like a child.

 

She couldnt help but to think now would be a prime opportunity to escape, despite not knowing how to open the doors, and being incapable of using the force, she checked again that the warm metal necklace was still fastened around her neck which,  _ sadly it still was.  _ But she knows it wont end how she wants.

 

_ She could kill him and escape. _

 

But that is unlike her. It was cruel, after hes shown that somehow theres more beneath his dark surface than he lets on. Theres a fragile human with a light in his heart burning lowly, theres a person with promise, and power, a future she can remember as flickers against a black background that stood so persistent and strong. 

 

Maybe where she is now is part of that future… she doesnt like to think to hard on things such as this though, not right now. There were better places to contemplate the future of the universe.

 

Rey decides that maybe now would be a good idea to shower, after all she still hadnt showered after being eaten out by Kylo ( _ fucking) _ Ren. She was still in shock at that too honestly.

 

Her firm hand grips the hair a slight bit tighter and shakes the mans head while the other rapidly pats him on his back. “Ben” she says, just a tone higher than a whisper, but he doesnt stir, so she tries for it a bit louder, again and again till one of his eyes peek open thinly.

 

There is a moment of eye contact, then a furrow in Ren’s brow, before his arms around her tighten and he buries his face closer between her breasts with a low defiant hum. She knows that noise all too well, the sound of someone who doesnt want to get up and will probably fight to stay exactly where they are.

 

“Ben, I need to bathe” she begins to push at him to make him roll off from her, he budges a slight bit before he himself rolls onto his back with a sigh and tired eyes look back to her. She notices theres a darker shade to his chin and upper lip, she’d never really thought of what he’d look like with facial hair, but her hand tentatively reaches out to touch the stubble on his face.

 

Kylo sends her a quizzical cock of his eyebrow “Its weird, i know” 

 

She just shakes her head “no, its just a bit different. Have you ever grown a beard?”

 

“Its not well received in the Order, gives an unkempt image”

 

“Says who?” 

 

“.... I dont actually know, its part of the dress code for most of our men” 

 

“Cant you be the exception, new Supreme Leader?” 

 

Kylo’s eyes widened for a moment and brow creased, “Who told you im Supreme Leader?”. He cant remember asking anyone to speak to her about it, nor would a droid bypass its code and freely talk to her.  _ Did she go through my things while i was asleep?  _

 

“I heard things while I was sleeping, you were talking to yourself over there” her hand motions toward the corner of the room where his desk sat.  _ Did I really do that? _ He thinks  _ I dont normally talk aloud to myself. _

 

He grunts an affirmation and feels the bed rise as Rey gets up from her resting place, he watches every movement of hers. She was glorious in the nude, her seductive curves sway with every step and he feels his mouth run dry. Shes simply  _ beautiful _ . He cant think of any other words because his mind is just filled with  _ her. _

 

Specifically how she was with him earlier. Thighs pressed to his ears, hips rolling in sensual pulses as he buried his tongue into her depths. She was golden and radiant, he was in awe of the body of his Jedi Goddess.

 

She casts a sheepish glance over her shoulder at him and he notices the worry on her face, the blush and pout of her lips, and how she awkwardly crosses her arms in front of her body as if he were watching her front on. His lewd gaze clearly making her embarrassed, as if she could read his mind and the many chimes of praise he held for her. 

 

Rey easily locates the door panel and it slides open near quietly, the light starts off dim but gradually, slowly, begins to brighten to make it easier on the eyes. An honestly lifesaving system implemented to the rooms of the entire ship. She spares one last glance at Kylo before the door slides closed, but he catches the flash of a smile and bite of her lip. 

 

_ Shes so fucking tempting. I could have followed her in there, pressed her against the glass, taste that delicious flesh again. I could finally be inside her. _

 

There was a small thud, a yelp from behind the wall, followed by a thread of swears as the sound of water began to run. She probably didn’t anticipate the immediate cold of the shower, either that or she has no idea how to operate the temperature control.

 

“Everything ok in there?” he calls out to her, rising from the sheets and approaching the door himself. “This bloody thing is scalding!” was her whined response. 

 

“There is a temperature dial on the wall closest to the door, turn it till its comfortable to you”

 

“What kind of stupid shower is this?”

 

“All rebel bases you have been on are much older than these ships, this is just modern tech”

 

“Is a hot and cold handle too much to ask?”

 

_ Apparently so.  _ Kylo leaves her to do what she must. Opting to prepare his clothes for after he himself bathes. He collects his protective gloves and leaves them on his nightstand, boots were by the door as per standard, helmet… oh yes, its gone. He opens the wall panel that extends into a large hanging rack of clothing, everything varies from a shade of black to dark gray, all are underclothes.

 

Sometimes he misses the feeling of wearing clothing for comfort rather than the protective thick layers he needs on a daily basis. The other panel opens to reveal his primary outfit, already washed, steamed, and hung ready for him, a process that only takes 2 hours.

 

His washroom door slides open and rey steps out with a towel wrapped around her midsection, hair still wet and dripping lines of water that travel down the valley of her breasts and he just  _ cant help himself _ but to watch it.

 

She clears her throat. “I where are my clothes?”

 

_ Oh right, that. Shit.  _ “uh… forgot to hail the service droid. It can have something delivered for you in half an hour”   
  
She scowls for a moment, a gaze that is accusatory and cautious. “Then what can I wear? I’m not standing around here with you naked.”

 

Kylo almost wants to ask  _ why not?  _ But knows she might get a little upset. He decides a good compromise would be one of his shirts for now. He selects one at random from the rack and hands it to her, her brow raises at him in question, but he speaks before she can object “It will be large enough on you, wear that for now till the droid arrives, i need to bathe”

 

Rey takes it from his hands and inspects it while he picks up another random pair of pants and undershirt. The panels close, Kylo turns and picks up a small communicator from the bedside table.

 

“Textiles branch” he begins, and waits, a few seconds pass before it responds with a beep “Have a droid come to my chambers with a full standard female set, medium”. More beeps chime before he puts the device down again. Rey was slightly shocked at just how  _ easy  _ it was to get clothing in, not having to wash it yourself, just an order and its here. It felt lazy.

 

As Ren leaves to his washroom he looks back to her. “The droid will let itself in if im not finished in time” he tells her before the door panel slides shut again.

 

* * *

 

Kylo leaves the washroom with a dissipating cloud of steam to find Rey nested on his bed again, lazily kicking her legs in the air with impatience and tracing the designs of her collar with an idle hand. He clears his throat to get her attention. 

 

“Took your time” she sighed as she rolled over to look at him. She was certainly dwarfed wearing one of his shirts, the black fabric hung just above mid thigh and loosely sagged at the neckline where she could barely fill it. And given the lack of sleeves on said shirt he caught a generous peek of the side of her breast. An image he would gladly get used to.

 

“I apologise for making you wait” theres a hint of playfulness in Kylo’s response.

 

As if on queue the entrance doors whirr and allow the small droid through, carrying a change of clothes for Rey and apparently a meal that he doesnt remember asking for. He looks at rey questionably, to which she sheepishly responds to the unasked question.

 

“I got hungry and figured out how to use your communicator” 

 

He didnt mind of course, their ‘body clocks’ arent synchronised after all. But the distant knowledge that he hasnt eaten in over 20 hours nudges the back of his mind, hunger is just one of the many sensations being a dark sider has taken away, he has to play this by memory. 

 

Regardless, he pulls back his desk chair and motions for her to sit, which she takes gladly while he proceeds to change into his freshly cleaned robes. Rey watches him out the corner of her eye while gladly tucking into the random meal brought to her, she was a little taken aback by just how many layers Kylo wore on a regular basis. 

 

“Dont you get hot?” she asks him around a mouthful of bread.

 

He looked at her over his shoulder and shrugged. “My uniform is not for comfort, it is for practicality”  

 

“Is the cloak and cape practical?”

 

“...save for those. That is more a tradition for darksiders and sith”

 

Rey makes a sound of acknowledgment as she turns back and continues to clean her tray. Shes curious what other traditions the Dark side would have other than murder and evil, but then again Kylo doesnt seem the kind to follow tradition too closely, just the ones that are aesthetically appealing to him.

 

Kylo finishes dressing, fastening his cloak around his shoulders with the sharp metal hook and eye, and slipping on his gloves like a well worn second skin. Rey realised she was going to be left alone again. Left alone and  _ bored. _

 

“Wait!” she says, standing and pushing the chair out behind her. His head tilts towards her. “Where are you going?” as she asks she watches his eyes ghost over her form, favoring the length of her exposed legs for a lingering moment before he meets her eyes again.

 

“Im going to the bridge, the First Order isnt going to command itself”

 

“What are you going to do? Where are my friends?”

 

“Your  _ Rebels _ have escaped to a dead nearby planet actually. A stupid move honestly, theyre sitting ducks. Your stowaway friends gave up some important information before they managed to jump ship, well, friend, The woman knew more than our divergent trooper”

 

_ What woman? _

 

“Youre not going to kill them, are you?” 

 

He clenched his fists, the way she stared at him with those wet eyes pulled something in his chest. He doesn’t like the feeling in the slightest.

 

“No, we’ve ordered them to surrender. We’ve blocked their outward signals and they will soon realise there is no help coming for them. Their numbers are dwindling as it is, to kill the rest would be cruel”  _ besides, Mother is with them. I want to see her before she dies. _ He followed with the words he knew she was anxious to hear “Leia is still alive”

 

Rey releases a breath she didn’t know she’d been holding, and a stray tear or two fell from her eyes. It clearly made Kylo uncomfortable somehow, a desire to comfort her tugged to one side while his jealousy viciously pulled the other.  _ It must be nice for Rey to have such a connection with my own mother. _

 

Ren picks up his communicator and pockets it, goes to his desk, and fishes out another, smaller and older designed one. 

 

“This is yours now. It will only communicate to me, if you need anything or if anyone  _ tries something again _ you will contact me immediately” 

 

He lifts her arm and places the small device in the palm of her hand, letting his gloved fingers enjoy the radiating warmth of her skin for as long as he could. With that, he takes his leave, standing by and watching as the girl holds his eyes till the doors slid closed and locked before him.

 

The two guard troopers turned their heads towards eachother as if in conversation, one shrugged, Kylo  _ hated _ how they do that. Talked without talking, a communication or the idea of a communication that you cant hear and if you asked the trooper probably doesnt know what the conversation was either.

 

He spared the door one more glance before departing along the polished tile floors.

 

* * *

 

“They appear to be ignoring us, Supreme Leader, we have patched through at least five surrender orders and they’ve tried to send out double the amount of distress signals”

 

The stand in Commander, Voda Malam, stands off to his side as he stares out over the expanse of darkness and flickers of light. Her face is illuminated by a dim datapad that lists all their intel, from where they are, looming threateningly around the rebels ‘hidden’ planet, they could practically see everything.

 

Kylo pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs. It is  _ so predictable _ for the Resistance to try and stand against them till the very end, pitifully, trying desperately to hold out in the hopes someone will come to the rescue. 

 

He’d almost feel bad. Just almost.

 

“Stop with the surrender orders for now. They know what we want” 

 

“May I just ask, sir?”

 

“What” his response was terse.

 

“If they happen to accept the Surrender proposal, what do you have planned for them?”

 

Kylo bites into the inside of his lip as he thinks. He had a vague idea of course, all he really needed was Leia, the others could just conveniently be caught in crossfire if they go down and  _ force them _ to give up. But that was a risk.

 

“Leia Organa is the most important person in their remaining group. Followed by anyone in their descending order of rank. If we can capture them they will give us the information to the last remaining members, and all supporters in the outer rim”

The woman nods and begins to type onto the pad.

 

“To have Leia in our hold will surely send a message to everyone in the far reaches of the galaxy. The Resistance is dead, The fabled sibling of  _ Luke Skywalker _ is no more, and the First Order will reign”

 

“Do you perhaps know of a way to draw them out?”

 

“They will lose hope, run out of food and water, and begin to drop like flies. Desperation is a better state to bring them in. Either that or…”

 

He begins to think. What does he have of value. What does he know that they do not?

 

_ Rey _

 

“Actually, prepare for a new holomessage recording” 

 

Voda doesnt question him at all, she speaks down to a member on the lower level of the bridge and they act accordingly. She was  _ definitely _ more in favor to him than Hux, she knew he was above her, soon he will find out of her military command prowess. Things were working out.

 

“General Leia Organa” he begins, voice level but loud with authority, with the intent to dominate. “You are surrounded and left without a hope for rescue, the more time you bide is just going to let your dwindling numbers grow weaker and weaker. If you surrender now your lives will be spared, especially for one particular hostage already onboard our ship,  _ Rey _ , your precious young Jedi girl”

 

He notices how heads turn to him from below, but his eyes are still set forward in determination. He will not waver, he will not show emotion before his enemy.

 

“Consider her safe  _ for now. _ You have 48 relative hours to submit to us.”

 

Kylo nods toward his new commander and she ends the transmission. 

 

He wasnt entirely lying. He  _ did  _ have Rey as his captive, but he had no intent to hurt her, use her for her power? Yes surely, but never to hurt her. Never again. 

 

Voda clears her throat to grab his attention. “This Jedi…” 

 

“I am limiting your knowledge of her, Hux’s failed murder attempt will not be repeated” 

  
The womans thin eyebrows lift, she took that to heart and began to quietly set to her work. She knew what he said is an underlying threat, after all she was made well aware of just who took Hux’s hand and left him bedridden. It is a clear message to soon be spread amongst his troops, to not touch what was  _ his. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> by the way i joined this really cool discord server for Reylos and im loving it!? so much???


End file.
